Staring

Staring at a blank screen
can't form the words for anything any more
so many thoughts - keeping me from living my life
from being the girl I want to be
putting my weight in front of everything
in front of school - used to be the most important thing
now it's just food food food

So exhausted
wake me up when it's over
so i sit here
staring at a blank screen
wondering what happened to that girl
that girl who could do everything
and not care about her weight

Staring at my reflection

disgusted.

battling with myself

i'm a hazard to myself

Staring at a pack of pills
wondering what it would be like
scared by my own thoughts
no, i don't want to die
I just want to feel better
I wonder if 6 would do it
worth a try?

Staring at my wrists
wondering if going back would help
because im desperate
i need something, anything
to make this go away

Staring into your eyes
wondering if you feel the same
you make me feel better