Hope

Today was the first day of holidays... and i feel good... better than i've felt in a while... i'm not sure what it is; i think it has something to do with starting to eat more (even though i've been throwing up more, i guess i'm more energetic), and not being around all of these girls who bring me down, as well as being so excited for seeing my family and not having to worry about everything every single second of every single day... i'm hopeful, and i'm almost happy... i'm worried what's going to happen when i go back to school, will i feel that bad again? I'm pretty sure i will and i really don't want the feeling to come back, i know it won't really go away until the bulimia goes away and that's not going to happen anytime soon, but for now i'm going to enjoy myself and hope for the best :)