Godd I want to throw up...
I want to feel that rush of every thing going away just like that,
All the pain, stress, anxiety... Just gone with my food
But I'm scared, those drops of blood coming from my throat, what if they mean something?
Well, it was just the one time that it happened
So I'm fine.. Right?
Fuck.
What do I do?
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Restart
Have you ever done something, knowing it was bad, and when it's over you promise yourself you'll never do it again, but after a while... You miss it, and you wonder why you didn't do it?
I miss starving myself... I miss throwing up... I miss everything.
I miss that satisfaction I got from feeling hungry.
Every body thinks I'm better now, so there's no suspicion if I start again
Plus, I will feel so much better, with all this stress and everything, its exactly what I need
I can't sit with my real friends at lunch because I'm embarrassed to eat in front of them,
If I start starving again, I can be with them...
Atm it feels like this will make me so much happier
The only problem is I still haven't been 100% which means that I could possibly pass out again, and every one will get suspicious again... So what do I do?
I miss starving myself... I miss throwing up... I miss everything.
I miss that satisfaction I got from feeling hungry.
Every body thinks I'm better now, so there's no suspicion if I start again
Plus, I will feel so much better, with all this stress and everything, its exactly what I need
I can't sit with my real friends at lunch because I'm embarrassed to eat in front of them,
If I start starving again, I can be with them...
Atm it feels like this will make me so much happier
The only problem is I still haven't been 100% which means that I could possibly pass out again, and every one will get suspicious again... So what do I do?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)