I realise what my problem was last year
I talked.
I thought it was the best way to help myself
so I tried to talk everything out with whoever was willing to listen,
but it never helped...

it drove my friends away,

it drove me to just get more frustrated with myself
it drove me to my biggest regret- telling my mom what was going on
This year, i'm going to get back on track to get skinny,
and this time it's not going to get to me
because i'm not going to think about it,
i'm not going to talk about it,
why talk when nobody wants to listen?
it doesn't matter.
i don't care if it's unhealthy
neither does anybody else
i want it to destroy my body
i want to be the girl who struggles to gain weight. not lose it
i'm sick of being disgusted when i look in the mirror
and it's going to change this year
no matter what
just try and stop me.