Thursday, December 2, 2010

Dying to be Perfect


It's December, i have now been bulimic for 8 months... it doesn't seem like a long time compared to some other experiences I've heard of but it has been 8 months of pure agony... and now i wonder if this will ever come to an end. I thought that this would've ended 5 months ago, that was my plan, but now there's no turning back... I miss feeling good about myself, i miss being happy despite anything going on around me... now i just feel sadder and sadder as the days go by in a blur of nothingness...I hate myself more than i did when i started all of this, but i still depend on it... what's worse is i know what i need to do in order to stop feeling like this, i'm just not strong enough to do it... i've tried and failed too many times... so now i'm just dying to like myself

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