The Days Just Get Worse

Today has been awful... i've been in so much pain and i can't explain why... i guess it's because i have to pretend somebody i'm not all the time... even though i have a boyfriend now, i have to be the girl he wants me to be, which isn't who i am... sometimes i wish people could see me for me, see that i need their help and support because i'm falling apart... It hurts so much more when my closest friends give me shit for being upset and my family makes fun of me and just tells me to piss off until i feel better... i miss having a best friend, that one person i could always talk to no matter what, that one person i didn't have to hide myself in front of, that one person who could always make me feel better... everybody says i should get over it and that i don't deserve this shit but it's not that easy... none of this is as easy as they think.... i wish they could understand...