I'm so hungry... but i know as soon as i touch something in that fridge i'll just eat and eat and eat and then throw up until both my stomache and my throat burn with agony and there's nothing left... and once again im stuck where i am.... i wonder if things would've been different if people actually noticed or cared when i stopped eating... that was ages before anything else started, but maybe if i hadn't taken it further i wouldn't be where i am today... so much pain, physical and mental... it controls me...
Some girls at school did a performance based on eating disorders, i swear it was the most confronting thing i've ever had to watch in my life... i just wanted to run out of that room because i couldn't handle it anymore and i could hardly breath... but after it was over, only one person asked me if i was okay... considering the fact that 1/2 the school knows whats going on thanks to girls spreading it around but.... its not like im fishing for sympathy but a lot of people would know how that would make me feel, and everybody just went on and predended like i didn't exist, as usual... it's nice to know so many people care
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